new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
