So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
