D3 body, D1 cock
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
