With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
