I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
