my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
