Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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