writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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