Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
