I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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