im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
