White coat. Heels.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
