I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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