We won't sleep together?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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