I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
