We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
