I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
