I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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