I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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