at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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