i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
