U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize