even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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