he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
