my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
