what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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