I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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