oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
