she was so not down for the gang bang
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
