Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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