i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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