with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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