Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
