U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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