i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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