its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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