i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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