ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
