It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
