You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
