I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
