it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
