Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
