Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
