I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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