I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
