oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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