just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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