would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you had me at cake vodka
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
