I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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