We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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