i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
