You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
