Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize