I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was CRYING into my vagina
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
