oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
