His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
