it wasn't lemon gatorade
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
